Dear Nephew,

Greetings Nephew,

 Thought you’d like some lyrics Eben and I put together about your Alan Keys. You know, the carpetbagger approved by Dubya to be your senatorial savior. If you can carry a tune, try Santa Clause Is Coming to Town.

He's making a list of Illinois’ faults,

Gonna find out why we aren’t for Bush,

Alan Keys is coming to town.

Abortions are out, but guns are OK,

 And gays got’a hide, I’m telling you why,

 Alan Keys is coming to town.

He’s knows that we’ve been sinning,

He knows we’re near some lake,

He rents his rooms in Calumet,

Thinks Chicago’s second rate.

He’d better get out, you’d better go vote,

Obama for Senate, I'm telling you why,

Good times will be coming around.

Yours truly,

Great Aunt Maggie Pye